December 8, 2008
- Chef Brian Wilke’s Amazing Home K...
- Wanna Have a KidVenture?
- 7 ways to make your own history
- Lessons boy teaches mom about spilt mil...
Subscribe to Weekly Updates
December 8, 2008
By Sharon Lacey, Portland comedian
As a woman who is well into middle age, I admit to secretly paying special attention to magazine ads that promise age-defying creams and lotions. Wrinkle erasers? Non-surgical solutions to a smooth face? Sounds good to me! But they’re going too far when they have Diane Keaton singing the praises of face creme with calcium. Really? Calcium?? How fair is that? Men get Viagra when they get older; we get….dairy products??! Forget it. When I hit sixty I’m going to skip the calcium and go straight to concrete. My face will be smooth as a sidewalk….and then men can really walk all over me…..
— Portlander Sharon Lacey performs stand-up comedy all across the U.S. and Canada. She’ll be entertaining our troops in Iraq in January. Clips & contact info: sharonlaceycomedy.com or myspace.com/sharonlacey
Diane Keaton is a little bit loopy anyways
Obviously the side effect of applying too much calcium to one’s head
(..and maybe the additional result of being filmed in really awful B-rated movies like Mad Money and the Family Stone)
Sometimes I have a problem with Diane Keaton’s hair! Not sure I could take beauty tips from one whose hair is crazy. Know what I mean?
Copyright © 2013, OregonReport. All Rights Reserved. | Terms of Use - Copyright - Legal Policy | Contact Oregon Report
Stay up to date with the latest political news and commentary from Oregon Women's Report through weekly email updates:
Prefer another subscription option? Subscribe to our RSS Feed, become a fan on Facebook, or follow us on Twitter.
Great addition to the site. Starts the week off right…with a smile on our face.